The Incredible Biblical Story of Lot

Posted by Ashles on the JREF forum.

I don't know how many of you are familiar with the story of Lot (Genesis: Chapter 19) but I was rereading it yesterday and had forgotten just how incredibly bizarre it is. For those of you unfamiliar with it, it is the one that contains Sodom and Gomorrah.

I have used the New International Version as that is what Bible Gateway provides first.

I have not in any way changed any of the text in quote boxes.
Any of you who haven't read it before will find that quite hard to believe.

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1 The two angels arrived at Sodom in the evening, and Lot was sitting in the gateway of the city. When he saw them, he got up to meet them and bowed down with his face to the ground.
2 "My lords," he said, "please turn aside to your servant's house. You can wash your feet and spend the night and then go on your way early in the morning."
"No," they answered, "we will spend the night in the square."

3 But he insisted so strongly that they did go with him and entered his house. He prepared a meal for them, baking bread without yeast, and they ate.

"It appears that you can change an angels mind if you are really insistent.

The story then suddenly goes in an incredibly unexpected direction:"

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4 Before they had gone to bed, all the men from every part of the city of Sodom—both young and old—surrounded the house.
5 They called to Lot, "Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us so that we can have sex with them."

"What. The. Hell?
Does this happen whenever anyone visits the city? Or just to Lots guests?
Does Lot know what every other man in the city is like? If so why didn't he tell the angels it might be the best idea to move on to the next town."

"If Lot didn't know that every other man in the city was hell bent on having sex with any male visitors to the town... why didn't he know?
Did he miss a really unusual Town Meeting?"

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6 Lot went outside to meet them and shut the door behind him 7 and said, "No, my friends. Don't do this wicked thing.

"Brace yourself... get ready for this bit..."

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8 Look, I have two daughters who have never slept with a man. Let me bring them out to you, and you can do what you like with them. But don't do anything to these men, for they have come under the protection of my roof."

"Lot, the hero of our story, has just offered his two virgin daughters to the baying, sex crazed men of an entire city!

What are we supposed to take from this story? I really cannot understand what moral position Genesis is recommending here."

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9 "Get out of our way," they replied. And they said, "This fellow came here as an alien, and now he wants to play the judge! We'll treat you worse than them." They kept bringing pressure on Lot and moved forward to break down the door.

"Lot is no doubt shouting to the angels by now "Little help here!"

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10 But the men inside reached out and pulled Lot back into the house and shut the door.
11 Then they struck the men who were at the door of the house, young and old, with blindness so that they could not find the door.

"But apparently they were still trying to find the door so having been magically struck blind hasn't dampened their need to have sex with strange men."

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12 The two men said to Lot, "Do you have anyone else here—sons-in-law, sons or daughters, or anyone else in the city who belongs to you? Get them out of here,

"Well presumably if he does have any other male relatives they are currently outside the front door baying for sex."

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13 because we are going to destroy this place. The outcry to the LORD against its people is so great that he has sent us to destroy it."

"In essence the Angels are calling in an air-strike."

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14 So Lot went out and spoke to his sons-in-law, who were pledged to marry [a] his daughters. He said, "Hurry and get out of this place, because the LORD is about to destroy the city!" But his sons-in-law thought he was joking.

"Just getting weirder and weirder now. A whole city becomes homesexual sex criminals, they are magically struck blind, but the sons in law still think this is all part of Beadle's About?"
(Beadle's About also called The Best of Beadle's About was a British television programme hosted by Jeremy Beadle, where members of the public became victims of practical jokes behind hidden cameras. )

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15 With the coming of dawn, the angels urged Lot, saying, "Hurry! Take your wife and your two daughters who are here, or you will be swept away when the city is punished."

"And where are your sons in law?"
"Oh I told them, they thought I was joking."
"Uh, that's odd, how exactly did you word it?"

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16 When he hesitated, the men grasped his hand and the hands of his wife and of his two daughters and led them safely out of the city, for the LORD was merciful to them.

"We don't know why as Lot's first response when encountering a pack of sex maniacs was to toss his daughters to them.
If the Lord really wanted to be merciful why not a simple letter. "Don't be in town next Thursday. God."

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17 As soon as they had brought them out, one of them said, "Flee for your lives! Don't look back, and don't stop anywhere in the plain! Flee to the mountains or you will be swept away!"
18 But Lot said to them, "No, my lords, please! 19 Your servant has found favor in your eyes, and you have shown great kindness to me in sparing my life.

"Sending a city of sex maniacs to my house was a bit off but never mind..."

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But I can't flee to the mountains; this disaster will overtake me, and I'll die. 20 Look, here is a town near enough to run to, and it is small. Let me flee to it—it is very small, isn't it? Then my life will be spared."
21 He said to him, "Very well, I will grant this request too; I will not overthrow the town you speak of.

"Well how very benevolent. The Angel tells Lot to flee to somewhere he cannot possibly physically reach in time, then when Lot pleads for a different location he can actually reach the Angel makes out like "Oh I'll grant yet another favor to you..."

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22 But flee there quickly, because I cannot do anything until you reach it." (That is why the town was called Zoar. [f] )

"And God has a really itchy trigger finger."

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23 By the time Lot reached Zoar, the sun had risen over the land. 24 Then the LORD rained down burning sulfur on Sodom and Gomorrah—from the LORD out of the heavens. 25 Thus he overthrew those cities and the entire plain, including all those living in the cities—and also the vegetation in the land.

"When God gets angry, not even plankton is safe."

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26 But Lot's wife looked back, and she became a pillar of salt.

"Now there was no real need for God to do this but, as has been thoroughly documented, God can be a right bastard when He feels like it.
The 'merciful' stage of God's bipolar disorder never lasts long."

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27 Early the next morning Abraham got up and returned to the place where he had stood before the LORD.
28 He looked down toward Sodom and Gomorrah, toward all the land of the plain, and he saw dense smoke rising from the land, like smoke from a furnace.
29 So when God destroyed the cities of the plain, he remembered Abraham, and he brought Lot out of the catastrophe that overthrew the cities where Lot had lived.

"Okay, a deeply disturbing story. I wonder if there is any way we can increase the ick factor yet further?"

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30 Lot and his two daughters left Zoar and settled in the mountains, for he was afraid to stay in Zoar.

"Why?"

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He and his two daughters lived in a cave.

"Really, why?"

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31 One day the older daughter said to the younger, "Our father is old, and there is no man around here to lie with us, as is the custom all over the earth.

"But... they just left Zoar. There are men in Zoar. You don't need to-"

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32 Let's get our father to drink wine and then lie with him and preserve our family line through our father."

"Zoar! Girls please, you don't need to do this! Zoar's just down the road."

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33 That night they got their father to drink wine, and the older daughter went in and lay with him. He was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up.

"Where are they getting this wine from if not Zoar? Does the cave have a distillation facility?"

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34 The next day the older daughter said to the younger, "Last night I lay with my father. Let's get him to drink wine again tonight, and you go in and lie with him so we can preserve our family line through our father."
35 So they got their father to drink wine that night also, and the younger daughter went and lay with him. Again he was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up.

"If you are that paralytic can you really perform?"

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36 So both of Lot's daughters became pregnant by their father.

"Has he noticed anything yet?"
"Let's see, I keep getting plied with drink by my daughters, blackout, wake up sore, there are no other men around and my daughters are pregnant... nope, I can't solve this puzzle. Maybe some wine will help..."

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37 The older daughter had a son, and she named him Moab ; he is the father of the Moabites of today. 38 The younger daughter also had a son, and she named him Ben-Ammi ; he is the father of the Ammonites of today.

"They must be so proud."